. Thank you. I try to be very aware of POV, both as a writer and as a beta, but sometimes I'm stymied.
For instance, in the previous piece you linked to, the third person omniscient sample feels 'off' to me -- The coffee burned Jack's mouth, but he kept drinking, unwilling to answer Daniel's question. Daniel knew he'd been there during Jack's incarceration, but he still didn't know how he'd helped Jack and that bothered him. Jack wasn't giving anything up, and not because Oma erased Jack's memory; Jack just didn't want to tell him.
I could see it working if Daniel's POV was the beginning of a new paragraph. But putting both Jack and Daniel POV in the same paragraph, even with 3PO, feels wrong. The same way we start a new paragraph when we have a new speaker, why don't we start a new paragraph when we have a new POV? And, how can I tell if it's okay to use one paragraph, or should switch to another? .
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Thank you. I try to be very aware of POV, both as a writer and as a beta, but sometimes I'm stymied.
For instance, in the previous piece you linked to, the third person omniscient sample feels 'off' to me -- The coffee burned Jack's mouth, but he kept drinking, unwilling to answer Daniel's question. Daniel knew he'd been there during Jack's incarceration, but he still didn't know how he'd helped Jack and that bothered him. Jack wasn't giving anything up, and not because Oma erased Jack's memory; Jack just didn't want to tell him.
I could see it working if Daniel's POV was the beginning of a new paragraph. But putting both Jack and Daniel POV in the same paragraph, even with 3PO, feels wrong. The same way we start a new paragraph when we have a new speaker, why don't we start a new paragraph when we have a new POV? And, how can I tell if it's okay to use one paragraph, or should switch to another?
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